:-(

Alright so i know how random my entries are...you dont need to mention it to me lol.

But i decided to update tonight cuz i am SUPER bored sitting here in my dorm. My roomie went home for the weekend like she will be doing every weekend and I am bored and alone. I just went to see Madagascar with Joy at the Union cuz it was free and sponsored by ZPN (zips programming network) but now i have nothing to do. Marie, Joy and I ate cake today that my mom sent with my dad to bring to me for my birthday. That was a good time...except I made a mess like I do ALL the time in my dorm. The other day i spilled Dawn all over the carpet in one spot and we couldnt get it out. The other day i was gonna make a microwave brownie and i went to rip the brownie pack open my roomate was like CUT IT OPEN!!! cuz she knows how i have problems. Tomorrow I am going to a picninc for SWE (societry for WOmen Engineers) and Joy is gonna go with me. I hope it is a good time. I haven't really made any friends with other engineers cuz I well I dunno...

My only frends right now happen to be my roomate. And joy and Lori who are roomates up on the 3rd floor of Orr. which by the way orr is my hall as well. Oh and robbie is my other friend.

Which...the other night someone told me its not good to be afraid. Not afriad of scary movies persay but be scared of anything. Life i guess. Scared of the moment or what might happen in a moment. I guess this other person felt I was scared about something...I'm not sure if I was or not. I just wasn't sure what I wanted at the moment. SO i suppose I was "scared" but I didnt know what to say. I have come to realize today...after being bored and wishing "someone" wasn't busy and could hang out with me...that I think I am scared of what this person mentioned. I guess I need to give i a little more and lets say "live in the moment".

"Intimacy requires vulnerability. It depends on our ability to be real about ourselves and to be able to let other poepl into the places in our live which we have not got fully sorted out." (thats a Beblo quote candy quote and i like it at the moment"

I also found out recently that I have a hard time trusting ppl. I dont know why this is. I guess i just have alot of feelings on how things should be and when my expectations aren't met a think i have been let down. Maybe I should be easier on other ppl. It is jsut really hard for me. But i think i found something that makes me want to expand my trust. But I'm not sure how it is really gonna go. My trust is still like dont do it cuz you dont know enough to enter into this situation. But i'm really not sure what i need to do.

Ok so anyways that was my vent session for the evening.

I have learned from a recent experience that you NEED to get sleep when you have classes the next day. Staying up too late does not work out very well. I am super tired now but have tons of stuff i want to do. Something I want to wait up for...not that anything will turn out how i want it...bummer...

Well, i think that is enough for my one entry a month, lol. Probably off to do hmwk or something cuz 2 of my 4 friends here are either home or out doing other stuff tonight...lonely...

Adios!